In My Own Little World

I’m an outgoing person, often comically so. But sometimes my personality inverts, and my thoughts and emotions flow in instead of out.

I talk less. I get secretive. Instead of contacting friends, I quietly retreat and hope I won’t hurt anyone’s feelings with silence or guarded answers.

It isn’t the same as shutting down or numbing off, and it isn’t necessarily depressive. I can’t always anticipate or make sense of the inversion, but I’ve noticed it coincides with my creative cycles.

No big mystery, I suppose, that I withdraw into myself during strong bursts of writing (and not blogging, mind you, but deeper writing I won’t share with anyone for seasons or years). What I wonder is if the creative introspection triggers my withdrawal from people, or if the withdrawal leads — in some desperate, lonely, sadly glowing way — to creativity as a cure.